Recently I was watching the AFI Tribute to George Clooney and during the inductee ceremony, his wife, the British Human Rights Lawyer Amal Clooney took to the stage to say a few words about her husband. What followed was a seven minute tribute made remarkable by the fact that until that moment, she had not spoken publicly about her marriage.
When she took to the stage she was the epitome of confidence, femininity and grace (three qualities that I encourage women to cultivate as they inspire a great love). Referring to George as “my love”, she expressed appreciation and admiration for him, calling him “the great love I always hoped for.”
I dug a little deeper into their story and discovered four important love lessons that could benefit us all. But before I get into the lessons, here’s the backstory…
Roughly five years ago, Amal Alamuddin was a single, 35 year-old barrister and in her own words, “resigned to live life as a spinster.” That all changed when she went with a friend to a party at George Clooney’s house in Lake Como, Italy. George, 52 at the time, reportedly told Vogue Magazine, “You know that I’d pretty much committed to the idea of never marrying again…[when I met Amal] I immediately knew that something was very different.”
They have since married and welcomed twins, Ella and Alexander and continue to outwardly express their mutual love, admiration, tenderness and respect, with George being quoted as saying about Amal, “I met someone I would trade my life for.”
(Interesting how both of these kooky cats thought marriage was not in the cards, that is, until they synced up with the right partner. Funny how that works.)
Okay without further ado, here are Four Love Lessons from Amal Clooney.
Lesson One: Feminine Radiance is a Gift You Give to Your Masculine Partner
Whenever I see photos of George and Amal, I’m struck by how unabashedly in love they are. On red carpets Amal has so much fun with her fashion choices, but I find her beauty eclipsed by her radiance, and how she looks at her husband. She often makes “goo goo” eyes at him, or sweetly rests her head on his shoulder, and she doesn’t give a damn who’s watching.
George in turn looks smitten and proud… like the cat who got the cream!
One of the biggest mistakes I see women make on the journey to love is thinking that they must look like a supermodel in order to attract a great love. It’s simply not true.
While everyone enjoys looking at attractive people, when it comes to choosing a life partner, women who are radiant, and who feel beautiful inside and out, are often chosen over an extreme beauty whose inner light and feminine radiance is dim.
I’m not saying that men don’t want to bed beautiful women…
What I am saying, is that men who have moved past the quest of getting as much cheap sex as possible, will consider more than physical attributes when they are ready to settle down and make a life with their Queen… (George [COUGH] Clooney being a prime example.)
So take care of both your inner and outer radiance. Dress and adorn yourself in ways that make you feel beautiful and confident. Honoring yourself by finding enjoyment in self care makes you super magnetic to the right partner. Create beautiful environments in your home and cultivate friendships that make you feel cherished and worthy. Then when your Mr. Clooney comes around, he will treasure (and multiply) the radiance you have already been cultivating.
Lesson Two: Channeling your Masculine Will Not Prevent You From Attracting a Great Love
This idea that we either get to be loved or we get to have a high-powered career is a load of B.S.
Amal is a top Human Rights Attorney, advocating for the most vulnerable members of society. She goes up against incredibly powerful and predatory individuals, institutions, even governments, who inflict unimaginable abuse and terror. Part of what attracted George to Amal is that she came to him as a fully formed woman, with an identity and life trajectory of her own.
The masculine energy Amal must embody in order to do her job did not prevent her from attracting a masculine partner (and it won’t prevent you from attracting one either).
You do not have to pretend to be someone other than who you are in order to find a husband.
Period. End of story.
Well, maybe that’s not quite the end of the story. It’s important to understand that people of all genders embody both masculine and feminine poles. The key is knowing when to shift into a particular energy center. So when at work, it might be time to “suit up”. And maybe when at home, it might be time to … switch between the two? 😉
Lesson Three: It’s Not Too Late to Inspire A Great Love
This is a lesson that Amal happily learned herself. At that AFI Lifetime Achievement Tribute she told the audience,
“I met George when I was 35 and starting to become quite resigned to the idea that I was going to be a spinster…Then we met and started hiding out in my London flat and very soon it felt like, no matter what happened, I would never want to be with anyone else.
He is the person who has my complete admiration and also the person whose smile makes me melt every time.”
Doubt, fear, insecurity. It’s something everybody goes through. So if you feel anxious from time to time, don’t beat yourself up. But also, don’t hang out in that space for too long. Stay open, be visible and keep cultivating confidence, femininity and grace on the road to happily ever after.
Lesson Four: Do Not Settle
When Amal opened up about falling in love with George in the May 2018 issue of Vogue, she said she wasn’t sure what to make of her burgeoning friendship with him. She knew that she liked him, but she also knew that she was looking for a certain experience in love and didn’t want to settle. After they finally starting dating, she realized that she wasn’t going to have to.
“It felt like the most natural thing in the world,” she said of falling for George. “Before that experience, I always hoped there could be love that was overwhelming and didn’t require any weighing or decision-making.”
Love, she continued, “it’s the one thing in life that I think is the biggest determinant of happiness, and it’s the thing you have the least control over. Are you going to meet this person? I was 35 when I met him. It wasn’t obvious that it was going to happen for me. And I wasn’t willing or excited about the idea of getting married or having a family in the absence of that.”
Photo by: Annie Liebowitz
Maybe you’re at a place in your life where you’re not sure if it’s going to happen for you. Maybe you are waiting on someone who isn’t all in, or you’re going through a dry spell. Whatever the situation, please remember that you deserve to have a great love, and just like Amal, and you don’t have to settle for less. Take your time. Be patient, and get busy creating your best life now. Amal did not sit on the sidelines waiting for great love to happen. She wasn’t sure if it would happen, but she followed her instinct to attend that the party. You too must take inspired action to create new possibilities for love.
Bonus Lesson: Move Through the Experience with Grace
simple elegance or refinement of movement.
“she moved through the water with effortless grace”
elegance, poise, gracefulness, finesse; More
suppleness, agility, nimbleness, light-footedness
“the grace of a ballerina”
George and Amal in Venice before their wedding.
Photographed by Sam Jones / Courtesy of Amal Clooney
I wish the road to love was as smooth and graceful as Amal was in her glowing AFI tribute to George. But truth is, you will probably experience some setbacks or delays. If you are willing to move through the entire process with grace, it’s only a matter of time before you are sitting across the table from your very own Mr. Clooney.
Watch Amal’s AFI tribute to George here: